Absolutely not. In survey after survey, women viewed kissing as a valuable way to assess the relationship, kind of a litmus test. For men, kissing was a way to move toward swapping other bodily fluids later. It was a means to an end. Men expressed that they like open-mouthed kissing with a lot of tongue. Women often complained that men use too much tongue.
Scientists explain that men have testosterone in their saliva and that a bit of testosterone is transferred with each kiss. Testosterone is the sex hormone and women are sensitive to it, even a little bit can make a difference. So all that extra sloppy kissing can lead her to be more receptive to sexual advances. He's slipping her a legal sexual stimulant. So after a kiss, how do we interpret this newfound information? If you liked the way the person kissed, they pass the potential mate test?
There are a lot of ways of coming together — shared values and experiences, common dreams. But during a kiss the body has a sense of whether this match can work.
The feelings you get when you meet at the lips is a pretty honest way to assess if the relationship might work down the line. Comfort levels and the environment matter so much. If you feel pressure or stress about the kiss, it's not going to go as well. You won't have the right hormones in your body. Kissing and stress don't mix. I'm not a spoilsport, maybe there's a bit of magic. But a lot of the feeling of dancing on air, craving more — the symptoms we associate with falling in love — are chemical reactions.
This has been studied in detail. For generations all around the world, prostitutes don't kiss johns. When surveyed, they say it's to avoid attachment and emotional entanglement. It does. In a famous experiment, scientists showed photographs of women wearing different shades of lipstick to male volunteers, who consistently picked the women in the darker shades as more attractive. There's a lot of thought that the reason lips are attractive is that they mimic the look of the female genitals, which are red in other primates.
Breath mints. Women do notice men's teeth and breath. Get to know the person first. It's more likely to make the kiss go well. And to get a good evaluation of the other person, don't be drunk or high the first time you kiss. I'm more conscious of it. My poor husband got teased about helping me research the book. We got married in August and the guests kept asking about how we would kiss.
It was probably anticlimactic, we just kissed. It's always the part everyone waits for, in every movie, in every fairy tale. Copyright owned or licensed by Toronto Star Newspapers Limited.
All rights reserved. To order copies of Toronto Star articles, please go to: www. By Nancy J. White Living Reporter Fri. A kiss is not just a kiss. It's a spy mission. Why do people kiss? Is it instinct? Kissing isn't found in all human cultures.
What do they do instead? Do other animals kiss, or perform some comparable mouth action? What's going on in the brain? Olfaction — basically, the sense of smell — is a major component of sex and attraction. The way someone smells can be a huge turn-on or turn-off.
In fact, people who have lost their sense of smell often lose sexual desire. That smell chemistry is very important. She might be prone to chapped lips, or you might have stubble that chafes. There are ways to overcome such problems, like floss and mouthwash or lip balm. Or experiment with kissing techniques until you find one more to her liking.
A possible bonus: Uncomfortable as it may sound, this is a great opportunity to begin a conversation about sex. True communication about this subject is necessary for a good sex life. And then there are the possible psychological reasons why your girlfriend avoids kissing. Mouth-to-mouth contact is extremely intimate.
Some people also feel it is invasive — more invasive, believe it or not, than intercourse. Your role in this would be to offer encouragement and support while she works through these intimacy issues.
A variation of this phenomenon is when prostitutes refuse to kiss while at the same time performing all sorts of sexual acts. There are ways to judge if this may be the case. Look at the rest of the relationship. Is your girlfriend interested in who you are? Do you have joint interests besides jumping into bed? Do you have a good time together when sex is not involved?
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